The Homeward Games had been proceeding splendidly - today saw tough competition between the dwarfs and the badgers in the tunneling event. Sadly, they were all beaten by Hitmouse who showed devilish skill in the use of a skewer as a digging implement.
The inhabitants of Homeward have done particularly well in sailing, rowing and swimming. This, despite the fact that the Badfort Crowd stole our teams oars in the middle of the race.
Allowing the teams to train in the Homeward Moat has certainly paid off!
We have also done extremely well in the cycling events. I insisted that the 'Stolen Bike Race' be re-staged with legitimate bicycles - and, of course, this time I won!
We have not done very well in the athletics events - it has to be said that the Badfort Team appeared to be the strongest contenders in this sphere.
However, the Old Monkey spotted Beaver taking a swig from a bottle, prior to the long jump, and it turned out that the whole team had been using Gleamhound's Sleep Tonic. The label says that it is guaranteed to send you off to sleep immediately for a good nights rest. Of course, being a Gleamhound preparation, it had the complete opposite effect - giving them boundless energy.
I immediately disqualified the whole Badfort team and ordered their medals to be revoked.
It was as I was receiving my Gold Medal from the King of the Badgers that A.B.Fox arrived with some very bad news.
Whilst we were all distracted, by the Games, the Badfort Team had clearly been hatching a plan - their pretence of involvement in the Games was all a ruse.
They have launched an assault on Cowgill's workshop!
Beaver has taken over the armoury and has his hands on the latest weapons that Cowgill has been developing!
Not since the Battle of Badgertown have the Badfort Crowd seized such vast caches of Homeward weaponry.
I feel sick to the stomach.
The Homeward Games had been proceeding splendidly - today saw tough competition between the dwarfs and the badgers in the tunneling event. Sadly, they were all beaten by Hitmouse who showed devilish skill in the use of a skewer as a digging implement.
The inhabitants of Homeward have done particularly well in sailing, rowing and swimming. This, despite the fact that the Badfort Crowd stole our teams oars in the middle of the race.
Allowing the teams to train in the Homeward Moat has certainly paid off!
We have also done extremely well in the cycling events. I insisted that the 'Stolen Bike Race' be re-staged with legitimate bicycles - and, of course, this time I won!
We have not done very well in the athletics events - it has to be said that the Badfort Team appeared to be the strongest contenders in this sphere.
However, the Old Monkey spotted Beaver taking a swig from a bottle, prior to the long jump, and it turned out that the whole team had been using Gleamhound's Sleep Tonic. The label says that it is guaranteed to send you off to sleep immediately for a good nights rest. Of course, being a Gleamhound preparation, it had the complete opposite effect - giving them boundless energy.
I immediately disqualified the whole Badfort team and ordered their medals to be revoked.
It was as I was receiving my Gold Medal from the King of the Badgers that A.B.Fox arrived with some very bad news.
Whilst we were all distracted, by the Games, the Badfort Team had clearly been hatching a plan - their pretence of involvement in the Games was all a ruse.
They have launched an assault on Cowgill's workshop!
Beaver has taken over the armoury and has his hands on the latest weapons that Cowgill has been developing!
Not since the Battle of Badgertown have the Badfort Crowd seized such vast caches of Homeward weaponry.
I feel sick to the stomach.
greetings my fellow dictator
ReplyDeletei must say that holding the olympics is a wonderful piece of PR, that serves to distract from what the caring and liberal minded fraternity (and floppy haired time lords ) might refer to as "human rights abuses", but which are in fact a necessary harshness that goes with the great dictator territory in my book.
I am no stranger to presenting a well honed PR front to the world or galaxy - witness my "Great Healer" scam, which was going great guns until the Doctor (curse his name) put a stop to it in his fat boy incarnation.
Anyway must go now, you know how it is, people to see, planets to subjugate etc.
your friend and admirer,
Davros
Creator of the Daleks
PS my new impersonator did a topping job of playing me on the televisual realiser don't you think?
Though I would say that I am much more spry in reality than depicted - I am a still a young(ish) mutant you know!
Yours Ever, D