Friday, 10 October 2008

Don't Panic

Dear Readers,

At last I am in communication again.

Yesterday, Cowgill found us - here on the floating village of Homesea.

He flew over and dropped a large crate containing a satellite link up telecommunication device.

Over the last few days the inhabitants of Homesea have had to adjust to being all at sea. To be the only village saved from the flood was one thing; to be the only village that ever floated away to sea was too much for their stomachs. The chemists soon ran out of seasick pills and shut their doors. The Mayor has taken to his bed and Noddy Ninety is running around telling people not to panic. This has only made them more anxious.

At one point a ship of the British Royal Navy actually passed alongside but failed to stop when I demanded to speak to the Queen of that country. Next time I see her I will have something to say to her about the manners of her Senior Service.

As usual, it fell to me to get the place organised. I demanded that the tradespeople of Homesea attend the Town Hall and it was soon buzzing with excitement as they came and went with plans for feeding and clothing the village from the stocks in the shops.

We were still able to pick up radio programmes from the outside world and we had some limited success in making a transmitter so that a message could be sent out.

I was gratified to hear that the whole world has been desperately searching for me.

The concern for my well-being has been overwhelming. I have already had the President of the United States and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom on the phone.

They were extremely pleased to have found me as, apparently, there has been some concern over the collapse of the international financial system. I was able to reassure them that I would not allow this to happen. My brother Rudolph, quite rightly, had told them that he would not release funds without my permission.

I will inject capital, but my terms are strict - I will be in charge of any banks that I lend money to and anyone who has been very naughty and lent money unwisely will be sacked.

I will, of course, expect assistance with my masterplan to get Homesea back to its rightful place alongside Homeward.

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