Saturday, 17 September 2022

Kiss you, Kate

Barack Obama does not return my calls, Gordon Brown has blanked me. Just as I thought that the world had turned its back on me, fame beckons once more. Kate Summerscale has chosen the second volume of my biography as one of her picks for the best books of 2008, in The Guardian newspaper, today. It is rather strange that she fails to mention that it is a biography, however, I feel honoured to be in such august company as JG Ballard, Sebastian Faulks, and Boswell. I have no doubt that this will provoke a flood of requests for interviews, and I expect that The Guardian's very own Mister Mark Lawson will wish to profile me. I was somewhat surprised to find that Mister Lawson devoted a whole hour to interviewing Mister Quentin Blake, the mere illustrator of my biographies, on BBC4. I feel a little aggrieved that Mister Blake made no mention of the great honour bestowed on him - the task of illustrating my biographies. I felt sure that Mister Lawson had meant to book me for this interview and that some error must have occurred, which led to me falsely accusing the Old Monkey of losing the invitation.

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