Monday, 19 January 2009

Tips for Surviving A Recession - No. 2 Shorter Hours

Tough times call for radical thinking.

Heresy has turned to common sense, seemingly overnight. Even I can now see the advantages to some of the theories of the famous dwarf economist John 'Mad' Keen.

He suggested that unemployment could be lowered by an increase in hours. Indeed, for Keen this was the "ultimate solution" to the unemployment problem.

I have therefore changed the number of hours in a day from 24 to 28.

This means that, as each hour is now shorter, workers can complete their 8 hour working day in the equivalent of 6.857 old hours.

Reducing work time has not only extended the time during which the dwarfs can spend their income - and hence generate employment, but it also allowed jobs to be spread out more evenly across the available workforce, thereby reducing unemployment.

My new supermarkets, 'UnCo' Stores, are doing a roaring trade and even the dwarfs are happy, for a change, - more leisure time has provided a necessary boost to the quality of work and life for many of my workers.

The change to the clocks has provided a great deal of work for all the clockmakers of Homeward but has caused some confusion - with disagreement over whether teatime should now be 3 1/2 o'clock or the traditional 4 o'clock.

It certainly seems to have promoted a more relaxed and creative way of life. The dwarfs now come in their droves to hear my recitals at Uncle Hall and visitors to the Homeward Art Gallery at Crack House have increased ten-fold.

The only people who seem unhappy about this state of affairs are the staff and pupils of Dr Lyre's Select School for Young Gentleman.

It seems that Doctor Lyre is having to deliver his lectures at break neck speed in order to cover the syllabus.

You would think that the schoolchildren would be happy with less time at school - but apparently they are no longer able to sleep through his lectures because his usual sonorous and soporific voice has been replaced by a high pitched continual squeak.

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