Saturday, 9 May 2009

Expenses Scandal



There has been a furore over Noddy Ninety's expenses, as Mayor of Badgertown, following revelations in The Badfort News.

Amongst his expenses he has included payment to his brother Neddy Ninety for 'cleaning services'.

Noddy responded in a manner that was likely to add fuel to the controversy "My brother is a very good cleaner - he does not mind getting on his hands and knees to scrub the floor! Not like some of the indolent badgers around here!"

It would also appear that he has claimed for the refurbishment of his car and caravan in a 'mock-tudor' style.

"I have to travel all around Badgertown as part of my job!" he declared "It is important for the Mayor of Badgertown to present a stylish image as he goes about his business!" he added.

Two sets of false teeth are also listed on the claim.

"I have to make a lot of speeches - this causes undue wear and tear, you would not want all my alveolar fricatives getting mispronounced would you?" argued Noddy Ninety.



The most anger, however, has been expressed over the use of public funds to build a massive Garden Railway at his second home in Badgertown.

"How can I possibly determine transport policy for Badgertown if I cannot first test new ideas in my own back garden?" he retorted.



The King of the Badgers is furious. "No wonder I am so broke all the time!" he confided in me "That Noddy Ninety is living the high life whilst I am reduced to asking for loans all the time!"

It has to be said that Noddy Ninety is not the only one who has been making extravagant expenses claims.

It would seem that many of Badgertown's Councillors have been claiming for staying at 'Skinner's' the so-called boutique hotel.

A.B.Fox informs me that these stays are just a scam. The owner, a Mister Battersby, is a well known cohort of the Badfort Crowd. It would seem that he has done a deal with councillors so that half of the £200 a night room costs go straight into their pockets - without them having to spend a single night in the fleapit.

It is appalling to think the Badgertown tax payers money is going into the coffers of the Badfort Crowd.


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