Monday, 25 February 2008

The Secret Diary of a Wizard's Cat, Aged 1¾

It appears that one mystery in the Case of the stolen Wizard's Dressing Gown has been solved.

Goodman came to me this morning to hand in his resignation. He said he was wracked with guilt because he now knew that it was he who had revealed the awesome powers of the Dressing Gown.

It turns out that during the time he had worked for Wizard Blenkinsop he had kept a diary.

"That was a very foolish thing to do," I told him. "This trend of people in important positions to keep diaries, is merely an attempt at self-aggrandisement and exaltation in the power and fame they imagine they have...."

I was going to go on but the Old Monkey laughed and looked pointedly at my own diary. Sometimes I think that he is far to familiar and forgets his position in society.

"I take it you mentioned the Dressing Gown in question?" I asked Goodman.

"I am afraid so, Sir, I merely wanted to record the Wizard's generosity in donating the item to the Museum - I never imagined it could have such appalling consequences, Sir." he replied.

I then asked him how he was so sure that Beaver and his gang had found out about it from his diary. It turned out that the diary had been kept in my library and was now missing.

A.B.Fox then interjected "I have discovered, Sir, that a Joey Beadle has been a regular visitor to the library - claiming to be doing research for Wizard Blenkinsop."

Wizard Blenkinsop then cried out "Lies, all lies - I sacked Beadle some time ago. He was getting far too big for his boots. He became convinced that he had mastered all the magical arts - he had the disgraceful idea of becoming a television magician. I told him that went against the Wizard Code of Conduct but he was only interested in seeking fame and fortune!"

Joey Beadle had once falsely claimed to be a Member of the World Wizard Association.
He had fleeced some gullible young wolves and badgers by setting up a School of Magic and enrolling them as students. Suffice to say that he was a total imposter and the only magic he was capable of teaching was of the parlour game variety.

Wizard Blenkinsop had been impressed by his enthusiasm for the profession, however, so rather than expose and disgrace him had offered him the position of clerk and general helper. To be frank, I think that the old Wizard was somewhat flattered by Beadle's faux subservience and slavish attitude.

A.B.Fox then described how he and Goodman had tailed the wayward magician's assistant to Badfort. Hiding behind a barrel of Black Tom they had witnessed a meeting between him and Hitmouse.

That clinches it - there can be no doubt as to who stole the magical dressing gown - but what do they intend to do with it?

I forgave Goodman - an elephant in my position has to be able to make a judgement between an innocent mistake and dereliction of duty.

Graciously I told the cat "You are forgiven, Goodman, you have clearly worked diligently with A.B. to try and rectify events - we must all pull together to counteract the assault that Beaver is clearly planning."

"Oh thank you, Sir, you truly are a beneficent elephant!" he replied.

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