Monday, 30 March 2009

G20 Protests

I am in London for the G20 Summit.

Barack offered me a lift in Marine One, but I prefer to arrive more discretely in my own helicopter 'Unc One'. I do find all that razzmataz a bit ostentatious.

I know that Barack is rather keen for me to lead the way on his programme matching private sector money with U.S. treasury funds to buy up to $1 trillion of toxic assets.

It could be quite a good deal - but I am only really interested in buying up any skyscrapers that are going cheap. I'll have to check with Cowgill and see what the shipping costs might be.

Shame the Empire State Building is not on the market - I think it would look rather good adorning Homeward.

Sadly, our arrival in London was somewhat noisy. It seems the Summit is the target of widespread protests.

Not surprisingly, Beaver Hateman is here - leading a group called "Put People First".

Looking down from my hotel room I spotted him inciting the crowd.

"Our future depends on creating an economy based on fair distribution of wealth, from Unc's treasury to our pockets!" he cried. "Free Black Tom for all!" he added to cheers from his coterie.

I was disappointed to see inhabitants of Homeward amongst the marchers. It looked liked there could be a bit of a fracas, as some jostling occurred amongst the different factions. Exception had been taken to Beaver's exhortation to put "People" first.

The badgers demanded that they should be put first, as did the dwarfs, goats and various other groupings. Beaver faced accusations of peoplism.

It seems they have resolved their differences, however, and formed a 'Rainbow Mammalian Alliance'.

I was astonished to see the Old Monkey carrying a "Put Monkeys First" placard - but he assures me that he was only there in the interests of primate equality.

Bizarrely, even the King of the Badgers was there!

He tells me that the Royal coffers are somewhat depleted and he is just as deserving of any hand-outs that are going as anybody else.

I, of course, had little choice but to lend him some money - if only to get him off the streets. It would have been most embarrassing to have a member of royalty outside, chanting with the crowd, whilst we are deliberating the future of the world.

I only hope they are not too noisy - one needs to concentrate when one is fixing the financial systems.

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