Marmite on toast for breakfast - I fear that it is an acquired taste and not one I wish to acquire.
Today we were working in the Soup Kitchen that Noddy Ninety has set up for destitute dwarfs.
I have always admired Noddy Ninety's spirit so I thought that this would be an obviously deserving case for my donation.
But, I have to say that I was appalled by the menu - Turkey Twizzler Soup!
I threw the whole lot away and sent the Old Monkey down to the market to get some special ingredients so that I could concoct one of my own favourite recipes for soup.
He was somewhat reluctant - arguing that we were supposed to be blending in with the community not trying to alter its eating habits. I, of course, countered that one could hardly be expected to hand over money without educating the populace as to how it should be spent.
I prepared a wonderful Chilled Spanish Gazpacho - a culinary masterpiece, if I say so myself. I used a rare Homeward herb called Fennelwort - expensive but with a spectacular tangy flavour - and I served it ice-cold.
I have to say that I cannot believe how ungrateful the dwarfs were. They actually spat it out!...demanding to know why we couldn't be bothered to cook it!
They only people who seemed to enjoy it were the two bearded chaps that we met at the market yesterday. Mind you, I spotted them lacing it with Black Tom.
They kept on going on about how I looked like "that Fat Dictator, Uncle" again!
The Old Monkey dragged me off before I lost my temper and revealed myself.
Then, to cap it all, Noddy Ninety sacked us!
Apparently we had spent the whole week's food budget in one day.
Once again, the Old Monkey was furious this evening - as he plonked a plate of unheated beans on toast in front of me he said "See how you like a cold dinner!".
I think all this equality business has gone to his head.