Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Without let or hindrance

It is quite extraordinary - Homesea has become a top tourist destination!

The French can't get enough of our traditional cream teas and the proprietors have even started putting tables and chairs out on the pavements!

I was a bit shocked at first but have now got used to the idea. The Old Monkey and I like to sit outside under the awning - working on our plans for returning Homesea to the coast of Homeward.

We now have more visitors than Disneyland Paris, apparently - and it is not just the French who are flocking here.

All the world now know of my floating village and rich tourists are pouring into the cobbled streets, eager to buy anything with the label, 'Made in Homesea, the Sea-Borne village'.

Beaver and his gang have been selling some very dubious old tat that they are claiming as genuine Homesea antiques. I spotted Hitmouse extolling the pedigree of a rusty old bucket to some naive Americans.

I am a little concerned that Beaver appears to hold court at the Jolly Smuggler tavern every evening - I have noticed the comings and goings of some rather rough looking characters.

To maintain order, I have tasked the Homesea Guard with setting up a border post where Homesea is conjoined with France at the railway level crossing.

Noddy Ninety immediately volunteered to man the barricades - he brings boundless enthusiasm to everything he does and woe betide anyone who tries to get past his marlinspike.

I have also issued all the citizens of Homesea with a special passport.

It states:

We, Uncle,
Owner of Homeward
Requests and requires in the
Name of Elephancy
all those whom it may concern to allow
the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance,
and to afford the bearer such assistance,
protection and bananas as may be necessary.

With all these comings and goings we need to avoid a descent into anarchy.


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