Slander !

I have been slandered in the broadsheets! One would expect this kind of insulting propaganda in the likes of the Badfort News but not on the online pages of a respected newspaper like 'The Guardian'. Mind you, it has a reputation for being on the left - so I suppose I should not be surprised. The only correct assertion, in this tissue of lies, is the fact that I favour purple for my dressing gowns. I am meeting with my solicitors today to discuss what action should be taken. As you know, I am not afraid of taking libels to Court if that be the only remedy. Some of you have noticed that I am following Messers Ross and Brand on my twittering site. Let me make it clear that I am only doing this to monitor their behaviour - rumour has it that they are to have their own show on Badfort Radio. I wish to make it clear to both of them that I do not expect to find any 'messages' on my answer machine.