Moat expenses: the true story

The scandal over councillors expenses at Badgertown Town Hall has rumbled on. There has been much controversy over the practice of certain badgers to have additional tunnels built in their burrows, at the expense of council tax payers, and then selling these massively extended homes at a profit. Now the spotlight has fallen on the fact that I submitted a claim form for more than £2,000 to pay to clear the moat around Homeward. Let me make it clear - I can afford to clean my own moat. In this particular instance, however, the moat was to be used for the annual Badgertown Regatta. Beaver Hateman and the Badfort Crowd had been disqualified from entering because of their appalling behaviour at the previous year's regatta. In a fit of pique, when it was clear that the Badfort team were losing, Hitmouse had skewered a large number of the boats. These holed boats rapidly sank beneath the waters necessitating a large clean up operation to raise and dispose of the sunken vessels. I felt it perfectly valid to recoup these costs from the Badgertown Town Council. However, as a gesture of goodwill towards the King of the Badgers, I have magnanimously agreed to repay the sum. Let that be an end to the matter.