Thursday, 9 July 2009

Hacked Off

The Homeward Gazette has a shocking story on its cover today.

It has been revealed that journalists on The Badfort News have been using criminal methods to get stories.

It appears that their chief reporter, Hitmouse, has illegally hacked into the mobile phone messages of my followers and myself to gain unlawful access to confidential personal data.

Moreover, it would now seem that the Badgertown police unearthed evidence of this wrongdoing some months ago but were bought off with a number of cases of Black Tom.

The police learn that my mobile phone has been compromised and don’t tell me!

Apparently, the matter was brought before the court - Judge Jeffreys presiding. Hitmouse was sentenced to one hour of community service and the court, faced with evidence of conspiracy and systemic illegal actions, agreed to seal the evidence. All that is completely wrong, I just don't understand it. Clearly the judge was bought off.

Beaver Hateman is claiming that the actions of his scurrilous rag
, breaking the law and subterfuge, were essential to reveal stories in the public interest.

I fail to understand how breaking into the Old Monkey’s voicemail to find out my daily food order is in the public interest. I now see how they obtained the information that led to the recent headline in The Badfort News - “Unc has gone bananas!”

It seems they also obtained transcripts of the following conversations:-

Noddy Ninety attempting to have the date of birth on his birth certificate changed, yet again, in order to be able to stay at school.

The King of the Badgers trying to obtain a loan from the Ferret Princess.

Butterskin Mute admitting that he was growing genetically modified pumpkins.

A perfectly innocent conversation I had with A.B. Fox (and entirely theoretical) on how greatly it would improve the view from my home if Badfort was demolished and how much dynamite did he think it would take?

I'm at a loss to know what the public interest might be.

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